I have not been blogging as much lately as I have in the past. There are many reasons for that, but one of them is that I don’t want to blog just to have a post to put up. I want to share my life and what I see and what is going on here at the farm. But every once in awhile, something will burn within my heart that I feel I have to say. Today’s post is one of those.
This subject can be used in many areas of life, but I am going to share what sparked it for me as an example. This is Christopher and his mom, Missy.
I knew Missy’s family when I lived in Florida. She was a bridesmaid in my son’s wedding. The whole family is precious and they are helpers. In June of this year, right after Christopher turned 3, he was diagnosed with cancer. It is a very rare cancer. In fact it is so rare that they have not given an exact diagnosis. Samples of Christopher’s tumor have been sent to pathologists all over the country. One is considered by many to be one of the top 2 in the country. One doctor estimated that less than 5 children are like Christopher in the US right now. Their whole world turned upside down with this diagnosis. There is so much that goes into dealing with a family member with cancer. I am sure none of us (unless you have gone through it) can feel the pain of watching your child suffer and having the unknown loom before you. Having to look at that child again and tell him that there is another needle stick coming or a procedure that is scary and might hurt. Then there is the financial needs. Missed work, gas for travel to and from the hospital which is often over an hour away. Having to stay overnight somewhere or stay for the week or even weeks. Food that is needed for the family members who are there. Having to deny yourself and your sick child fun opportunities that could be a compromise to their immunity. There is so much more I have probably not even touched on.
Christopher’s mother, Missy, had to make a post on Facebook that broke my heart for her. That is what I want to share about. Many people want to help. They want to encourage. They often don’t know what to say. They will hear of some new treatment or something that they want to share with the family. All of those are good things and the family appreciates them. Some even say the wrong thing, but their heart comes through that they want to help. However, there are some that are negative and say hurtful things that are totally uncalled for. Their use of funds are being questioned. They are looking at several options for an upcoming long extended stay for a round of radiation. People are accusing them of wasting funds because they are looking at other options along with the Ronald McDonald House. In her very sweet and loving explanation she shared some very valid reasons why the RMH might not be a good option for them this time. She should not have to explain that to anyone. People are refusing to help because they don’t have an exact diagnosis. WOW!!!! I can’t fathom that type of heart and I feel sorry for those people and I pray that they are never put in that situation. If you don’t want to help, that is fine, but keep it to yourself. Don’t reach out and hurt a family that is already struggling. Where is your compassion?
THINK BEFORE you speak. It is one thing to ask if they have heard or thought about an option, but another one for you to tell them what they need to do. None of us know all the circumstances.
Read all the updates and pray for this family. Many times people skim over an update or read the first line and then pass judgement. I see this all the time on my Facebook page. I recently posted a picture of a coffee cup from someplace in Canada. A discussion came up about the McDonald’s coffee incident. People made a judgment on what they heard in the news or from friends. I shared this link with them that showed the facts of the case. Many still lashed out at her and accused her of stupidity or lying. Again… WOW!!! They accused her of grabbing after money. She originally wanted only $20,000 to cover her costs. McDonalds refused. They said she was stupid for putting the coffee between her knees to take the lid off. Maybe a lapse in judgement, a mistake, but stupidity??? The coffee was so hot that she suffered full thickness burns (or third-degree burns) over 6 percent of her body, including her inner thighs, perineum, buttocks, and genital and groin areas. She was hospitalized for eight days, during which time she underwent skin grafting. She also underwent debridement treatments. What if that was your mom? She has been vilified through out the world for something that was an accident on her part. Her settlement was reduced by 20% for her fault in the incident. Her whole life had to change. Where is the compassion? People chose not to read the facts. They saw what I wrote about and spouted off “their set of information” and condemned the woman.
In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5
I am reminded of that children’s song …. Oh be careful little mouth what you say. Oh be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love. So be careful little mouth what you say. The Bible tells us that one day we will give account for our words…. ALL of them.
If you would like to help this family out financially, there is a page set up for that. You can find it here. I may be setting up a Lilla Rose fundraiser for them as well. I am waiting to hear back from the family. All of my profits will go straight to this family if the party is set up. The hostess gifts will go to Christopher’s mother, Missy.